I wasn’t too keen on Auggie turning two. Though I know it’s just a number, to me, two represented potty training, speaking in sentences, tantrums.. Things that babies just don’t do. All of a sudden, two means my baby is not seen as a baby to the outside world any longer.
People at the farmer’s market no longer stop and awe over him. I no longer have to carry him around the house or anywhere for that matter. He no longer needs me to feed him, dress him, nurse him, etc., and he has no reservations at making his independence well known. Though he has no intention of breaking my mommy-heart, two has been a little rough on my desire for him to need me in the same ways that he has prior, which I knew was in the cards. What I didn’t know was in the cards is the pride that wells up inside of me as he tackles his new independence by storm.
Potty Training
As I mentioned, I know that two-year-olds are typically ready for potty training at some point, but I had no desire to potty train Auggie. As a germaphobe, diapers just seemed a whole lot easier when out and about and the idea of additional pee on my floor, on the toilet, in the car, on the sheets was just not appealing.
Auggie, however, had different ideas. A few weeks ago he started refusing to potty in his diaper. We could be laying him down to bed at night, and he would whine until we let him up to pee. At first, I thought it was just a ploy to get out of going to bed, but he’s really gone every time he’s ever mentioned needing to.
Speaking of sleep, he’s night-time potty trained too. I’m told we’re extremely lucky parents to have a kid so easy to potty train, but I kind of grieve the time we missed getting to teach him. If I could give potty training advice to any new parent, it would be the same advice I’d give for breastfeeding or sleep training or crawling: Don’t rush it.
Nightly Routine
Auggie’s night time routine is changing too. We haven’t exactly found what it’s changing to, so most nights this leaves us utterly exhausted after trying to get him to sleep for two hours.
We used to take a bath on bath night, every other night, brush our teeth, read a book, pray, and then breastfeed while we cuddled in his toddler bed.
Now, it’s a more like bath on bath night, brush our teeth, read a book, pray, and then a little bit of walking, a little bit of rocking, a little bit of laying in bed, and a lot of crying. All the while, refusing to breastfeed.
I really thought anytime after a year, I’d be okay with him weaning himself. Turns out that’s not true.
We made it 25 months breastfeeding. Breastfeeding was pure torture when I put pressure on myself to be his main food source, but as soon as he became less dependent on me, it became something I wholeheartedly enjoyed.
I’m now realizing that during that time, I was his source of comfort. He’s breathing would slow, his eyes would flutter, and a few moments later he’d be asleep. (Often times, I would be too.) I was fortunate to spend every night with him in my arms, washing away the troubles of the day.
I’m looking for new ways to comfort and connect with him, and honestly, nothing I’ve found comes close to what we had with breastfeeding. I trust him to know his needs though, and breastfeeding must not be one of those needs any longer.
Sentence Phrases
Auggie has always been ahead of the curve, but at his two-year wellness appointment, I was reading the pamphlet they give you on two-year-olds and realized that Auggie was either just at baseline or below what he should be verbally. I consulted the doctor who told me the pamphlet was a bit off. He thought that phrases applied more to 27-30 month old kids.
Regardless, within a few days, phrases started spilling from him. I had previously never worried or, for that matter, wanted Auggie to speak much. I had always heard from others, “Once they start talking, they never shut up.” But oh how wrong they were. If I could listen to Auggie talk all day, I would. I absolutely love hearing the phrases he comes up with.
Auggie has given me so much to be proud of as his mom, so much so that sometimes I have to remind myself to keep in check my boasting. Then, I remember my favorite quality about Auggie, and I’m simply humbled by how he’s still as sweet as he was at 1 year or 5 months or the day he arrived.
Something tells this mommy-heart of mine that regardless his age in numbers, he’ll retain that sweetness. Sweetness that bandages my grieving heart with smiles celebrating his newly found independence.