It’s been awhile.. A long while, and for that I’m sorry.
If I’m being honest, I haven’t felt like I’ve had a whole lot of pertinent information to tell you. Which, considering this is a blog that focuses on anxiety in motherhood and elsewhere, I think that’s a rather positive thing.
I started this blog a little over a year ago now, and as I reread my posts, I realized how far I’ve come in a short amount of time. Not that I don’t have bad days. I do! But overcoming those setbacks are what tells me this freedom I’m finding isn’t just a season. It’s a marathon full of hope that one day I might not encounter anxiety at all.
The past few months, Auggie and I have gotten out more than we ever have in previous winters. We’ve gone grocery shopping (and I even let him sit in the cart). We’ve started attending story time almost every week where lots of other snotty toddlers cough and sneeze on us. And we’ve continued working on the curriculum that I put together for him monthly, which often includes at least one field trip.
This isn’t to say that I don’t take an alcohol wipe to our phones when we get home and throw us all into the bath/shower or shudder at the sound of a deep cough, but we’re still doing it!
A year ago, I never would have thought it possible.
I think the changing point for me was acceptance. As soon as I accepted that I suffer from anxiety, I was able to share my experience and to some degree own it. Put a spin on it that in some way helped me to see it in a positive light. Each time I felt an overwhelming fear, I’d simply note it as an opportunity to write about it and help others suffering alone.
Little by little, I stopped having the intrusive thoughts.. Or at least not as frequently. I don’t think it’s possible to ever really be “healed.” Maybe just a remission or NED (no evidence of disease).
So, since I don’t have much in terms of anxiety to talk to you about but miss talking with you (or I guess, writing to you), what would you like to hear more about?
Below are some topics I’ve thought about writing, but then, I resort to reading/watching Outlander instead.. My apologies.
- Auggie’s milestones? Sleep training at the age of 2.5 and why it took us so long?
- My infertility journey and the balancing act of planning for a pregnancy that’s not happening?
- Health and fitness? I just finished Transform 20 and wow!
- SPRING! I have an entire list of all the spring things I’m ready to do and buy!